I have a confession.
I often hate social media as much as I love it.
I can honestly say that since I’ve started this blog, I’ve had these conflicting feelings all the time.
I mean, this blog connects me to so many wonderful people out there, which fills me with gratitude every day. And at the same time, it has tested me in other ways I don’t feel I’ve been tested before. Hard tests. Tests that haven’t made me feel good.
I like to think of myself as an overly confident person, I just always have been. But since putting myself in the fashion/beauty arena, I have found myself doing a lot of comparison games, letting the insecurities sneak in at times.
And let me tell you something you probably already know…..that is never a healthy thing to do.
A good friend recently said “comparison is the thief of joy” and that totally resonated with me! She is absolutely right, and I’m going to come back to that a little bit later….
When I look at everything rationally, I want to pinch myself at the life I have. I live in a beautiful home, have an amazing, supportive husband who is the love of my life, and three beautiful boys that are my world. I have a great career, good friends, everybody’s healthy, and honestly, what more could anyone ask for you ask?? But sometimes even I, someone who couldn’t ask for anything more, find myself playing this game.
And this is completely INSANE.
And it’s completely NORMAL.
I do it. You do it. We all do it.
It’s human nature.
But it’s our responsibility to manage the comparison game and not let it take control. Here’s why:
First of all, we lose sight of our own gains! We don’t celebrate our successes, no matter how big or small.
Second, we let ourselves become intoxicated with the perception of someone else’s reality. Let’s be honest, we all know that most of the people using social media are only showcasing the small (and the best) parts of their lives for the world to see. We don’t know the whole story.
Last, and most important, we make ourselves unhappy. (“Comparison is the thief of joy!”)
But there are ways to not let the comparison game control you. Here’s what has worked for me:
5 Tips for Stopping the Comparisons:
How to get grounded and grateful
1. Have faith in something:
I was raised in a close, Catholic, Italian family. Faith has always been an important part of my life. Whether it’s a religious faith, a faith in the universe, yourself, or whatever else, this will help empower you and keep you walking your own path.
2. Find the things that keep you grounded and surround yourself with them:
For me, this is my precious little family and my dear friends. Time spent with the people I love most, face-to-face, out of the virtual world.
3. Compliment, don’t compare:
Let’s give it up for the people we admire! When we comment on someone’s post or give them a like, we aren’t giving power to negative emotions, like jealousy. And honestly, when did it become ok again to not support our peers?? THERE IS ROOM FOR EVERYONE, and going out of your way to intentionally not support something you actually like because you think it takes away from your success is crazy. It doesn’t.
4. Recognize negative talk:
We humans love to do this! I don’t know what I’m doing, Nobody is going to read this, I’ll never be as successful as her/him, etc. When this happens, try to realize it in the moment, tell yourself that it isn’t true, and then shut it down.
5. Remind yourself that we’re all in this together:
We’re all humans and we all share the same battle. So let’s be easy on ourselves and on each other.
Social media isn’t going anywhere, which means the comparison game is here to stay.
The way we handle it is what separates us and allows us to either move forward, or dwell in the hell called comparison.