My Greatest Mission in Life Wasn’t What I Thought

Feb 20, 2018 | Fashion, Life Fashion

Growing up I always wanted to be a career woman. Ambitious, well-dressed, and completely independent. I could see it perfectly in my mind.

As I was raised in a big family in rural Washington, there were always so many kids in the house. I was an Aunt at the young age of 12, and took that job seriously (well, as seriously as a 12-year-old possibly could). It was going to be the coolest aunt ever. And for me, it was enough. I hadn’t planned on ever having my own kids. Or even getting married for that matter.

You know how sometimes, even when your childhood is a happy one, you want a completely different experience once you’re an adult? That was my case. I wanted to see what big city life had to offer. I was hungry for opportunity. I wanted to conquer the world.

And along the way, I got pregnant. And it wasn’t planned. Yet, there was no doubt in my mind to accept this great responsibility.

I hear that many women love to be pregnant….they feel amazing….they have this “glow.”

That wasn’t me. I hated being pregnant. I felt it was the worst version of myself, and this made me wonder if I was even going to be maternal.

But once they put little Cash in my arms, all my doubts slipped away. I had never been more certain of anything in my life. My mission was to be a mom.

And from that moment, I knew I wanted 2 more boys. In fact, I prayed for it all the time!

As you may remember, I’ve always been a girly girl tomboy, so I understand them. I can hang with boys. So, I felt more equipped to raise boys. In other words, I knew boys were my jam.

And I got my 2 more.

Being a mom to 3 boys is an indescribable reward, and for me, is irreplaceable. At the risk of sounding like a cliché, I can’t remember life before being a mom. Having this role and guiding these boys have given me a profound sense of purpose that I had never known before.

Photographs by Jenna Bechtholt Photography |

And it can be hard. Once you have a child, your heart is on the outside of your body. And every day your heart can be broken a thousand times over. The worry about things you never gave a second thought to before is a very real thing, and sometimes can consume my every thought. Even so, it’s been worth every moment.

I still am that career woman. Ambitious, well-dressed….but I no longer want to be that independent. I want a strong family, where we all depend on one another. I’m so fortunate to have found an incredible man to stand by my side….a man who couldn’t be a more suitable role-model to our boys….the only man with whom I ever want to share this crazy thing called LIFE.

And it definitely can be crazy! My boys are 2, 3, and 9 years old. I run my own company. My husband works a lot. I mean sometimes, it’s so much to juggle! But we make huge efforts to get this whole work/life balance down. And we’re finally finding our rhythm.

I still want to conquer the world. Except, it’s taken on a different meaning for me. Of course I continue to work to give my clients the best service possible. But above anything else, it’s to be there for my boys. To teach them, to guide them, and most importantly, to learn from them.

My family is on the other side of the state, and most of my best girlfriends are spread out all over the country. They can’t just come on over if I need an extra hand, (and trust me, when you’re sick and you’ve got 3 sick boys and a husband at work, you really want that extra hand!). I’ve had to learn to manage without having my family or friends close by….to be there for my own little family, whenever and always.

And that’s a conquest I will dedicate my life to.

BP. Ribbed Knit Cardigan • BP •
Express downtown cami • Express •
Topshop Ripped High Waist Ankle Skinny Jeans • Topshop •
Gucci – Leather Belt – Black • Gucci •
ALDO Stessy • Aldo •
Ray Ban Black Rectangle Sunglasses • Ray-Ban •

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