My husband’s wish was that my first son, Cash, would have been his biological child. He has always said that, and never in a manner of disrespect to Cash´s biological father.
As a mother, words cannot describe how much that sentiment means coming from the man you’re in love with.
Cash’s biological dad and I go way back. I’ve known him and his family since I was in elementary school. He comes from a wonderful family….yet, for some reason, he himself was always a bit troubled. And when you’re young, the troubled bad boy, mixed with a family who was easy to love, was a combination that kept us in touch with each other through our school years to our mid-twenties.
And one day I got pregnant.
When I moved to Seattle, I promised him regular visits with Cash. It was important to me that Cash spend time with his father, so I kept the relationship open, driving across Washington state twice a month so they could spend time together.
Throughout that year, in trying to help foster the relationship between my son and his biological father, his father continued to make poor choices. And it only got worse over time.
When you’re a mother, your greatest priority is to protect your child. That’s the only thing that matters. So I stopped the regular visits.
After Cash was 4 years old, he didn’t see much of his biological father. Him, Patrick, and I were inseparable. We were a family. And Patrick has always loved and treated Cash as if he were his, since the day he first taught him the proper introduction of knuckles and had their first sword fight. Sword fighting was big in our house. Cash and I used to sword fight for hours at a time, so naturally when Patrick showed up the family tradition continued. Cash loved Patrick as much as I did since their first day of meeting. It felt like I always imagined it should. And from that day forward we were a family of 3 (4 if you count our English Bulldog Bella).
When Patrick and I had Ryan, my second son, Cash was over the moon. He loved being a big brother! And he was SO good at the role. Cash is the most caring, empathetic, and nurturing child. Sometimes I can’t believe he’s mine 🙂 And even though Cash was still a little guy himself, he was mature enough to be aware that his last name was different from Ryan’s. And later, from Lux´s name too. Different from all of ours. And he wanted the same name, and he wanted Patrick to be his father.
We made it our mission to honor his wish. And I wanted to honor my husband´s wish as well. Same blood or not, we were a family, through and through.
It’s been a long, 5-year rollercoaster ride. Ups and downs, filled with continuous hope and heartache. Between the unpredictability of Cash’s father and the difficulty of the state, we’ve had our fair share of challenges.
But love is patient.
We’ve been persistent all these years, supporting each other through some of the hardest of times…….and, we’ve finally made it.
Cash, you’re now officially a Cahill, our amazing, perfect boy.